Metrosexual Smack Down: Are You Still a Guy?


I called my friend a metrosexual after he returned to the office with waxed eyebrows and he went completely Marlboro Man on me. The ensuing days weeks have been a fascinating experiment in the organics of machismo, culminating in the most fantastic declaration of manhood I have ever read, heard and fell asleep to. More on that later.

For those unfamiliar with the term metrosexual, it describes men who are very concerned with their appearance and engage in services or use products traditionally marketed to female consumers--At least that's my definition of it. Turns out, if you Google it, words like "dandy", "feminine" and "queer" appear in search results as synonyms of metrosexual.!

Evidently teasing my friend about his waxed brows and neon white teeth ignited a masculinity challenge the likes of which may never have been seen before. Nothing against feminine dandies and queers, but that's not what I intended to call my friend. Too bad my word on that's just not good enough for him.

Since being labeled metrosexual, he has started each morning by telling me all the burly, rugged, manly things he's done the previous night: chopped firewood (we're city dwellers, mind you), worked on his TRUCK, popped bottle caps with his teeth. And on. He's been ordering medium rare steaks for lunch a lot more frequently. He even came to work with some stains on his pants, oil from changing the car's that morning. Down, boy, down!

Well, before he comes to the office with splinters in his teeth from eating tree trunks for breakfast, I'm happy to say it seems the metrosexual smack down has culminated to a deserving end with his sending me the video to a most apropos song, Brad Paisley's "I'm Still a Guy".

Nothing further need be said on my part, really. Just take a listen and read the rugged lyrics. I've fallen asleep to this wonderful tune for the past two nights and consider it the manly man's lullaby.

5 Snap and Comment:

JD at I Do Things said...

HEE! You funny, girl! Listen, if men want to be metrosexuals, that's fine with me (and obviously with you), but they need to own it. We're not gonna laugh! Much.

JD at I Do Things

Anonymous said...

I am a man and my wife waxes my eyebrows. If I didn't, I'd be unibrow. So I'll take the teasing over being a freak! :)

Brandy Rose said...

Haha, that gives me the giggles. :D

Vivienne said...

Exactly, JD! It's all about the ownership. I'm not hatin', I'm just sayin'.

UnfinishedRambler, I do applaud you for waxing your long brow! I consider that more functional than vain. My friend doesn't have a unibrow and I could almost swear he got his brows tinted along with his hair. He also gets his teeth bleached regularly and I know gets a manicure though he denies it.

Don't deny it, Metros! Own it!

Hi Brandy Rose, glad you giggled!

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