Subway Sandwich Artists: Stop Smashing my Sandwiches

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I'm a sandwich shop lover and I especially enjoy Subway's Philly cheese steak and ham & cheese with added avo sandwiches. I like them so much for lunch that even though their relentless $5 promo song will be looping in my mind for the rest of the afternoon, I cannot resist spell of the Subway sandwich artist.

On several afternoons during the work week, I can be found waiting patiently in a moderate line at one of two Subways near my office. I look forward to my loafy lo-cal friend on Subway lunch days. I choose my bread carefully, alternating varieties for Philly or ham fixings. I watch the Subway artists keenly as they place the trimmings I request on my sandwich, making sure they don't overlook the extra feta and withhold the salt, but add the pepper.

'Anything else?' they ask. Nothing else. We're home free and I turn my attention to the register as the sandwich wrapping paper crinkles. Out the door, back to the office, behind my desk with my precious freshious at last!

I unwrap the goods and DAMMIT! Again. The fat, fluffy number I last saw before the wrapping process is smashed down to a mere sliver of its former self. Its innards squishing out on all sides, flattened avocado goo sticking to the paper and rogue onions refusing to go down with the ship poking out all willy nilly. Enough. I will Not Stand For It any longer.

I will go back to Subway. This situation is most certainly manageable. I will not stray from my sandwich until it's safely cocooned in its plastic tube bag and we're both on our way, far from the devil hands of the flattening sandwich wrapping Subway artist. You've been warned. Watch your subs.

5 Snap and Comment:

Anonymous said...

And it's not like you can stand there and scream "Please don't smash my sandwich!" Or can you? Hey, you told a woman once that she was wearing too much perfume. I think that qualifies you to speak up. I count on you for things like this! Do it for us!

robkroese said...

Quizno's never smashes my sammiches. Although I'm still trying to forget those weird smashed rat things from their commercials.

Vivienne said...

I won't let you down, Kathy! I'm easily distracted by the purchasing process while my sandwich is at risk of a smash down, but I'm ready for battle. I'll not be taking my peepers off the sub unil it's safely in my hands. Stay tuned.

Hello Diesel, what are these smashed rat things you speak of? I'll have to look into it, else Quizno's might be a good alternative for me.

Dorothy said...

Hello and Kathy sent me..this is a funny site I'll be back..

Dorothy from grammology
grammology.com

I love subs and agree...I hate it when they get mushed.....

Vivienne said...

Hiya Dorothy, thanks for checking me out (well, my blog, that is). The welcome mat is always out for Kathy's friends. Actually, the red carpet is. So please, stroll down it often!


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