Does California Octuplet Mom Nadya Suleman Want an Angelina Jolie Sponsorship?

Nadya Suleman, the beaming California mother of eight new babies, looks a heck of a lot like Angelina Jolie, dontcha think? Juding from her actions and some of her baby love intensities, the sleuth in me doesn't think her appearance is a coincidence.

I was shocked into double takes when I first saw Suleman on TV talking with Ann Curry -- you gotta love Ann; you know she's sitting there thinking ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND and yet she's so calm and professional. The Oct Mom looks so much like Angelina I don't see how anyone can deny it. The hairstyle, the lips, the skin tone, the nose, even the black top, the eight babies, it's Angelina! Except the real one can afford a hundred babies, this one not so much it seems.

Nadya Suleman assured Ann that her finances will improve significantly once she finishes her "schooling". Is she going to brain surgery school? Because even a brain surgeon's income would be stretched caring for 14 children. But she'll, "find a way to make it". Yeah, and my tax dollars will be helping her do that, I'm sure.

Suleman claims she's never been on welfare and won't accept it now. She hasn't worked since 2007 and lives with her parents. Her mother filed bankruptcy last year. Unless she poops dollar bills I don't see how one can sustain themselves and their 14 little 'uns on thin air. I read her hospital stay alone cost over $200,000 and the babies continue to rack up their bill times eight. And here I am stressing over a root canal. Life is hilarious.

This woman claims bringing eight lives into this world without an appropriate financial foundation is not selfish. Well, I and all the other grown ups think it is. She reminds me of my seven-year-old self who wanted to take all my stuffed animals with me in our station wagon family road trip to Las Vegas. All 20 of them. I wanted them with me. What's the big deal?

Luckily, my Mom made me choose two. I wailed at the unfairness of it all. My rant fell on deaf ears and the terrible injustice was forgotten about 10 miles into the trip. Isn't this how we all start learning we can't just close our eyes and do what we want? If it were that simple, we'd all be clicking our heels like Dorothy in the middle of the work week.

Maybe Nadya here will catch Angelina's eye on TV and she'll swoop to her defense and set her up in a big mother goose house. Can you say master plan, anyone?

Kanye West's Fugly Singing on SNL Called Out!

Radio, TV and now print media buzz about Kanye West's horrible "singing" performance of Heartless last week on Saturday Night Live. Dare I hope? Is the media finally prying its lips off of his onion?

Ever since Kanye and his formidible ego arrived on scene, I've been equal parts of amazed and aggitated at the praise and reverence lavished upon him by music critics and other media talking heads. If his perpetual "na na na na, na-na-na-na, naa naaaaa" cadence is within earshot, I bring the hate.

Yes, he writes good hooks, beats and occasionally entertaining lyrics. Yes, he raps alright (and may I remind you I am an expert in urban musicality). But singer he is not. And that's what he mascaraded as on SNL, only everyone but Kanye noticed it.

Shawn Amos of the Yahoo music blog Get Back published an article today exposing Kanye's misguided confidence by making this sensible observation -

Kanye broke the cardinal rule of bad singing. He stepped outside of his preapproved vocal zone.

Oh happy day! Finally someone who has a voice inside proves not everyone is high on Kanye West. Amos goes on to say singers who know they can't sing are always forgiven. True. Consider one of my personal favorites, Mr. Johnny Cash, who said on countless occasions he talked a song more than sang it. But his showmanship and humility hit the bullseye as an entertainer.

Mr. West, on the other hand, thinks he is a most excellent singer and has told us all so on music award shows whether he's at the winners' podium or not. In all fairness, I may take my Kanye criticism more seriously than most. Afterall, he is banned from my blog as you can see over there ---->>. But not without good reason.

Amos' article is a good read. You can browse Yahoo's top list of singers who can't sing and all 11,000+ comments. They take some good shots at Madonna and her carnival arms. I only take issue with Celine Dion's mention. Sure, she's drama and I disliked her odd chest thumping stage, but she can most definitely sing, sang and sung.

I Told a Stranger She Wore Too Much Perfume

Have you experienced a perfume fugue before? I have many times--often lingering in elevators or dressing rooms, but not usually in confined quarters. Tonight was different. We were settled into prime seats at the movie theater waiting for "Slum Dog Millionaire" to start. Ten minutes before show time, it was already getting crowded. I heard the show was drawing big at the box office, so we left early so I could enjoy watching people scramble for seats. Good fun!

A couple sat down in front of us in two of the few remaining adjacent seats. My nasal cavity was assaulted with gardenia scent immediately. At first I was amused by the offending aroma; it's funny when someone smell weird. At first.

By the time the movie started, I was nauseous. The gardenia plume was not lifting in the least. I tried breathing out of my mouth but I tasted gardenia. My popcorn lost its seductive butter smell. My hair smelled like gardenia. I couldn't smell by boyfriend's musk (yes, I know musk is outdated, but he wears it for me because it makes me jiggy) even though my face was buried in his armpit. Only gardenia. And I've never liked gardenia.

The theater was too crowded to find new seats. I really wanted to see this movie, so we stayed. It was a fantastic show, by the way, and I highly recommend it.

Back to the gardenia. After the movie, during the credits, I leaned forward and said, "Excuse me, this may sound rude, but I'm fairly certain you're unaware that you're wearing too much perfume. Waaay too much." She turned to her male companion and asked if that was true. He said, "Well, now that you ask. Uh, yeah. It's a little heavy."

Granted the girl looked like she was going to cry, but here it is hours later and my pores are still oozing gardenia. She can't go around having that effect on people! How many opportunities has she missed by gassing people with gardenia? I was just trying to help. Honest.

Miley Cyrus Has a Mouthful of Marbles

Miley Cyrus sounds like she has marbles in her mouth when she speaks. I heard her on TV tonight and it was especially noticeable. If this is true, mystery solved. If not, who cares. I'm just saying.


--->Don't get the cartoon?