Bacon Flavored Vodka Makes Me Hurl

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I love bacon and I love vodka, so the bacon flavored vodka was a logical, albeit trepidatious, experiment. I heard about bacon vodka on TV and was curious. I'm always up for new experiences and if you've read me before, you know I love me some cocktails. So, off to the Net I went to find a tried and true recipe. Bingo:

Makes up one pint -

• Fry three strips of bacon
• Add cooked bacon to a clean pint sized mason jar. Trim the ends of the bacon if they are too tall to fit in the jar. Or go hog wild and pile in a bunch of fried bacon scraps.
• Optional: add crushed black peppercorns.
• Fill the jar with vodka. Cap and place in a dark cupboard for at least three weeks.(No need to refrigerate.)
• At the end of the three week resting period, place the bacon vodka in the freezer to solidify the fats. Strain out the fats through a coffee filter to yield a clear filtered pale yellow bacon vodka.
• Decant into decorative bottles and enjoy.

I followed these directions with wired anticipation. The bacon smelled so good. The vodka poured so smooth. It felt freakishly blasphemous to combine the two delectables, but I pressed on, twisting the jar closed and sequestering it in my closet. The three weeks scraped by and as evidenced by the cryptic bacon sticker on my cubicle calendar, ended yesterday. Yessssss.

So last night I removed the bacon vodka jar from the hallows of my closet and just took a moment with it, alone. As it cured in my freezer, I debated whether I should share the decanting with someone special or indulge privately. I chose the latter, just me and the BV.

My first warning was the slightest brush of nausea when I removed the coffee filter coated with bacon fat. I picked it up by one side. My finger slid down and into the greasy yellow residue. Whatever. No big deal, right? I decanted and put my tumblers into my chiller set.

Finally, bacon vodka meets the Divamouth and its cocktail red carpet, my tongue. I sip and try to swirl a bit. My mind is hiccuping around the blending of vodka and bacon. I can only describe what happened next as a sort of vapor lock of the senses followed by a burning rush from my gut upwards to the back of my throat. Flashes of bacon fat danced in my head and I steadied myself on the bar. I'm sorry to tell you that a small spurt of reconstituted bacon vodka shot through my teeth and fingers and dribbled down my arm.

I am so totally dismayed at my hurling of the bacon vodka. I have read such euphoria experienced by drinkers of the potion that I really don't know what to say. Except that bacon vodka makes me hurl and maybe you, too, should proceed with caution.