Thong Assault Law Suit: Thongs Behaving Badly Part I


If your underwear doesn't fit, do not off a law suit! Marcrida Patterson, 52, filed a law suit in Los Angeles today against her killer thong. She alleges her Victoria's Secret thong launched a metallic decoration at her eye as she attempted to navigate her 52-year-old onion into it. Straight off, Marcrida you are about a decade beyond legal thong-wearing age, okaaay? This situation could have been avoided had you chosen age appropriate booty wear.

Butt, what's done is done, so here we go. Marcrida claims the decoration shot off the thong and damaged her cornea as she was stretching putting it on. Hey, I'd be thankful the piece didn't fly up her hoo ha. Yowch! Of course eye damage is no laughing matter. What is HILARIOUS is how she will be demonstrating the injury in court. I might just take a day off to go watch this trial. Screeetch! Wait a minute, who am I kidding here?

There won't be any trial. How much do you think Victoria's Secret will settle for out of court? I say $50,000 - the complaint says damages will exceed $25,000. I know, I know, how can you put a price on cornea damage for god's sake? Well, who's going to compensate me for damage to my eyesight imagining this tard in a thong? I picture cinnamon rolls exploding out of their Pillsbury tube. I say we call it even.

So thanks, Marcrida, for sucking up my tax dollars on a silly lawsuit and for all the "warning" and "user instruction manuals" that will now be coming with underwear when I buy them at their new inflated prices. This is totally FUBAR.

4 Snap and Comment:

Anonymous said...

Great humor about this ridiculous lawsuit! It's true, no one's catching on to her age and like you said she probably stretched it all to hell causing the sparkly thing to pop off. Please. Things happen, someone's not always to blame for it.

Diva said...

Its only a matter of time before we see ... CAUTION: Size matters. Not suitable for thunder thighs!

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