How Hillary Clinton Can Relax After Conceding


Whew! It's been a long, hard road that seems to be coming to an end tonight for Hillary Clinton. Campaigning is indeed stressful and that kind of pressure can surely take its toll mentally and physically. So, loving lists as I do, I've compiled one of several activities sure to help Hillary Clinton relax after conceding to Barack Obama. In descending order of relaxation:

  • Ride a mechanical Bill bull.
  • Get a tattoo. A classy "I'm in it to win it!" on her left boob would be a timeless reminder of campaign fun.
  • Affix Maxi pads to some of the female senators' vehicles in the parking garage who didn't support her. (Trust me, this is BIG fun!)
  • Get drunk on Two Buck Chuck. (Now Google Adsense will really think I'm an alcoholic.)
  • Do some freestyle rapping at the local club under the stage name, "Hill-Rod". Be sure to incorporate the lyric, "Ima bust a cap in yo ass, O-Dog!" She already eluded to his assassination, so why not go there?
  • Put on a thong. Pop and lock in front of a mirror and realize there are more terrible things than losing a nomination.
  • Play air guitar to Santana's "Black Magic Woman". Oh wait, she didn't work any magic on the blacks. Reconsider that one.
  • Get in line at Best Buy, fire off some silent but deadlies and share disgusted looks with others near you wondering who did that. *Bonus* Find a line with an old man it it.
  • Go crazy shopping on QVC, ordering anti-wrinkle and hair care products. Ship them to Michelle Obama's house.
  • Cut holes in the ass cheeks of a pantsuit and walk around the Capitol. When people stare, say, "Why are you tripping? I'm just pimping my pantsuit. Don't be a hater."
  • Come to this blog and post a rant comment. Please include, "You want a piece of me?" somewhere in it.

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